Last year my middle son was 21yrs my daughter 18yrs and I turned 50yrs within 3months of each other. Pre my illness; circumstances had dictated we had not been on vacation for two years So we had planned to go for a long weekend in Venice, my daughter and I (a promise since she was small) Then a family holiday in the USA where I was to attend a Candace Pert Lecture (My hero)then meet up with my family. When I became sick all these plans were abandoned as I was unable to even go out to a restaurant. This was what I wrote………
September 25th 2012 (50!…. but not as planned)
No flight overseas, no catching a plane,
No new adventure on unknown terrain.
No weekend in Venice my daughter and me
No pavement cafes and steaming hot tea.
No trip to the coast, footprints in the sand,
No spray on my face from waves blown inland.
No inhaling the smell of a salty sea breeze,
No Fish n’ chips in paper; warming my knees.
No strolling through fields and drinking the view
No squelching socks, wet from the dew.
No sharing with people perchance on the day,
No enriching encounter, then back on my way.
No cosy restaurant, friends and fine wine,
No high heels and elegance; dressed up to dine.
No night at the ballet and home on the train,
No celebratory drink, no glass of champagne.
No walking by torch light just my dogs and I,
No magical canopy; a star studded sky.
No driving my car; no freedom that brings,
No independence to do so many things.
No spontaneous decisions, a hallmark of mine,
No doing things different; not towing-the-line
No…. I never imagined such crippling limitations,
No fireworks at 50 and life celebrations.