This brings tears to my eyes too. It is so “right on”. We could never explain it to anyone that hasn’t experienced it. I one time tried to explain it to a friend that was addicted to heavy drugs for years and she said it sort of sounded like one of her withdrawal episodes when she felt like ending it all because it was so terrible. Having dealt with hyperPOTS, I relate to every word of this paragraph. If there’s anyway you can get to the POTScare clinic in Texas I’ve heard great things about it. Blessings to you and your fight to regain your life.