NEW STUDY! Parasym Plus™ for Multiple Sclerosis › Forums › PrettyIll.com Discussion › EDS/MS/Chiari › Newbie looking for advice about symptoms and appointments › Reply To: Newbie looking for advice about symptoms and appointments
It seems a response I tried to post last night did not go through so I will try to do a brief recap. Lab-Scientist-Lady, while you and I have not had the exact same experiences, I shoulder that burden with you. I have been to the darkest places possible even before my body deteriorated. I know what it feels like to be so tired, so exhausted from simple survival. Moving from one moment to the next can feel like it is just too much to take. The mental, emotional, and physical toll can be overwhelming. My depression was that strong and my panic attacks were/are also that strong. For most people, panic attacks seem to not last very long whereas mine can remain at full intensity for several hours and then remain at a moderate level for days. There is no relief. There is physical pain, intense nausea and vomiting, my entire body clenches and shakes, my skin becomes overly sensitive to any stimuli resulting in more nausea and discomfort, and so much more. ‘Discomfort’ doesn’t even begin to describe it. Everything is so bad that speaking and thinking are not possible. And I remain in that place for several hours when even a few seconds of it is torture. I broke down in tears last year when I started having a string of attacks and even ended up going to the ER 3 separate times in a desperate search for help. The emotional pain was worse than what my body was going through. I was just so desperate and tired of feeling that way. The depression and the anxiety are just so hard to go through and it drains everything you have. I was so tired. So exhausted. So fed up with feeling such an intense level of suffering. It can be soul-crushing. It can take so much just to survive from one moment to the next. You just want it to end. You just want to not have to feel it anymore. The idea of going through even one more moment of it can be overwhelmingly painful. I might not be able to make it better for you but, for any moments when it might actually count for something, I understand. I truly, truly understand. *hugs*
The sad thing is we all can relate to each other. On some level this disease slowly takes away every thing that makes us who we once were. I guess the key is to make some thing out of the person we now are. Easier said than done. Pain is a powerful thing. It changes your mood and how you respond to every situation. Being unable to walk well and do physical activities make one feel like less of a person. Then there is all the dysautonomia problems that make you so sick.There are so many things that have to managed with EDS that it is overwhelming. EDS has taken away my ability to work, drive, care for my self, and be the mother I want to be. It has even changed my body and how I look. It is overwhelming how EDS changes every little thing about you and your life.