I think issues like this are always specific to individual relationships.
Personally, I do this A LOT (when I’m dating). I’ve pretty much stopped dating now because I end up hurting people. Guilt is a huge factor here, at least for me. We can’t help but push people away for a few reasons:
-we are sick and don’t want to be around anyone
-we don’t want to burden anyone with our chronic illnesses
-we have no desire for company and we may not know why
-mood swings can be unexplainable and unavoidable
I have experienced every one of those things. What it comes down to, I think, is how long you are willing to stick around and what you’re willing to give up for your partner. There may come a time when you have to make sacrifices to stay with this person, whether they be sacrifices of time, energy, etc. That’s not easy for anyone. There is the other issue of resentment if you DO stay. Do you think you will end up resenting your partner if it becomes overwhelming? Look down the road, and consider this from all angles.
It’s great that you seem so dedicated and concerned. Many people are deprived of this kind of comfort.
Knowing you are ‘out there’ even if you are not ‘right there’ might be comforting to her. It is to me. But I also know this appears selfish – picking people up and putting them down as I like. This has forced me into isolation because of the guilt I feel. Perhaps her guilt is great and consuming her.